Big Dogs Weblog

My Global Warming Carbon Offset Plan

by Big Dog on Feb 28, 2009 at 12:50 Opinion, Satire

Global warming is an issue that creates mass hysteria among those of the left as they parade around slavishly following Al Gore and his over hyped PowerPoint show of black magic, lies, and distortions. The people who advocate for man to do something, anything, to stop the onslaught of catastrophe that will ensue unless we spend money we do not have on items that have yet to be invented, have yet to be demonstrated as effective and are based on something that is a theory are clueless. They insist that we must act because the science is settled and every scientist in the world worth anything has signed on board the Gore express.

The inconvenient truth is that as many scientists disagree with the idea of man made global warming as agree with it and the science is definitely not settled. Lest we forget, these reputable scientists were warning of an approaching ICE AGE only 35 or so years ago. Never mind that it has been colder lately and that we are not actually warming up (though this is strangely blamed on global warming) and never mind that it all seems to coincide with sunspot activity. The major issue with these folks is that Carbon Dioxide is dangerous. They call it a greenhouse gas and blame it for most of the problems. In the late 60s and early 70s it was CFCs used in aerosol cans as a propellant. That stuff was banned so now those who want to control your lives need a new villain. CO2 is the villain because it can never be eliminated and they won’t have to look for a new one in the future like they did after CFCs were banned.

CO2 is necessary for life to exist. It is the waste gas expired after Oxygen is processed in the body. Amazingly, there is a system on the planet that uses it and makes Oxygen. Plants use CO2 and return O2 for us to breathe and we do the opposite for them. It is amazing the way that this works. It is almost like a higher being designed it all or something…

In any event, the global warming zealots are looking to put into place these cap and trade schemes as well as others to charge us more money and to try to end this scourge of global warming. King Hussein of America is now looking to do it. They are all spending money we don’t have to end something that is not a problem all in the name of control.

The global warming hoax will make a handful of people very rich and will condemn us to poverty for a very long time. It will enslave us to government even more than we are now and when added to the trillion dollar deficits King Hussein is racking up (he has tripled a debt in one month) the recession will be turned into a depression.

But what about your offset plan Big Dog?

CO2 is a necessary gas but liberals want to eliminate it. Some of them have this idea about buying a carbon offset (a fancy way for them to make money for nothing) so my offset program involves all the liberals signing up for my program. Their names will be randomly selected to help allow those guilty of “polluting” with CO2 to alleviate that guilt. Here is how it works:

People who produce CO2 will send me money to purchase carbon offsets. I will randomly select a liberal from the list of those who want to help the environment (and all good libs want that, right). Then, they will be sent to the Final Exit Network where their carbon output will end. This will be a great offset program that allows libs to sacrifice for the cause and allow the rest of us to live how we want without a lot of problems.

But mostly, it will help me get rich through the sale of the offsets.

This is no more ridiculous than any of the other scams out there and mine actually helps decrease the surplus liberal population.

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Tags: al gore, cap and trade, final exit network, global warming, hoax, Obama, offset, scam