Big Dogs Weblog

Big Dog Will Negotiate with Iran

by Big Dog on Mar 23, 2007 at 22:17 Uncategorized

Iran has illegally taken captive 15 members of the British military. The 15 were patrolling in Iraqi waters when they were abducted by the Iranians who have taken them to Iran. The Iranians claim that the British warriors were in Iranian waters and were arrested by the border patrol [note to President Bush: This is how you police a border]. The British claim they were in Iraqi waters and are demanding that their fighters be released. President Ahmadinejad of Iran canceled his trip to the USA where he was to speak at the UN. Perhaps he was afraid he would be abducted here and decided to have some insurance. In any event, this is not good and will not help calm tensions in the region. Big Dog is here to negotiate.

Memo to Iranian President:
Mr. Ahmadinejad,
Your Navy has taken 15 members of the British military captive and are holding them illegally. Your claim that they were violating your border is rejected and we demand the immediate release of the 15. We expect they will be unharmed and all of their equipment will be returned with them. Given your propensity for thumbing your nose at other countries, the following information is presented:

At this very moment Cruise missiles are being programmed to target 25 areas in Iran. We have selected the largest population centers and we are preparing to eliminate you from the face of the Earth (or, as you would say, wipe you off the map). You have six (6) hours to release the British service members you are holding illegally. They shall be released unharmed and with every item they had on them when captured.

In six hours and one minute, we will launch all 20 Cruise missiles. The combined air forces of the US and Britain will invade your airspace and destroy any air defense system that is powered up and actively searching for airborne items. Once all air defenses have been destroyed the aircraft will leave Iranian airspace and prepare for a second assault. That assault will commence when the Cruise missiles begin hitting the ground and will not end until you surrender the hostages to our control. Please be advised Mr. President, that we consider you a high value target and will be bombing places we believe you are occupying.

Please do not attempt to whip the world into a furor over perceived human rights violations because you have been given ample warning about the destruction of your country should you fail to comply.

We do not negotiate with terrorists.

You now have five hours and fifty-six minutes.

Cordially,
Big Dog

This is the diplomacy required to deal with these people.

Source:
Times on line

Tags: Commentary