Actor, Obama Adviser, Fakes Robbery In PR Move
Apr 21, 2010 Satire
It has been reported that Obama adviser and actor Kal Penn (Kalpen Suresh Modi) was robbed at gunpoint in Washington DC near Dupont Circle sometime after midnight. Penn, who starred in House and the Harold and Kumar movies has obviously staged this to gain attention as he intends to leave DC and resume his acting career in a new Harold and Kumar Christmas movie.
Penn reports that the gunman got his wallet, cell phones, and other belongings but this must be fabricated.
Washington DC has a gun ban so a person with a gun could not have robbed him. Gun control laws, we are told, work so this could not have happened. If he wanted to be believed he should have left the part about the gun out. Everyone knows that people do not carry guns in DC. If they did Penn might have had a chance against the supposed gunman. Then again, maybe not. Liberals don’t carry guns, they negotiate…
Interestingly, there was a rally consisting of a bunch of gun owners who showed up near DC (in Virginia where carrying guns is legal) and despite all those loaded weapons and “angry” people, not a single shot was fired.
Penn is obviously well off so if this happened maybe he should not look at it as a robbery. He should look at it as the manifestation of his political beliefs. It was redistribution of wealth. The person who allegedly robbed him had less money so he just leveled the playing field.
The only difference between what happened to Penn and what happens to the rest of us is that the IRS does not use guns to steal our money and they do it in broad daylight.
Source:
Yahoo News
Never surrender, never submit.
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LGF – Charles Johnson 2010 Calendar
My friends at The Nose On Your Face have a great parody about Charles Johnson of Little Green Footballs fame. Johnson has recently gone bonkers and is probably close to a nervous breakdown. The parody is a great piece that delves into Johnson’s weirdness.
The guys at the Nose On Your Face have brought us such great items as Islamic Rage Boy and Ahmed and the Chipmunks. And don’t forget Islamic Rage Boy sings “Infidels”.
Big Dog Salute to American Digest
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Tags: charles johnson, little green footballs, the nose on your face
Bill Clinton Wants To Go To Copenhagen
Dec 5, 2009 Satire
A lot of people are going to Copenhagen for the Climate Summit where they can discuss how to impose massive amounts of taxes on countries (read taxpayers) in order to force rich countries to pay for what now has turned out to be an unsettled issue.
The prostitution industry thrives there and Copenhagen Mayor Ritt Bjerregaard sent postcards to the hotels telling guests not to visit the brothels. It seems she does not want this trade, that is legal there, to continue.
The prostitutes are fighting back. They will give free sex to anyone who arrives at a brothel with one of the postcards.
Bill Clinton has now asked to go to the Summit. Word has it that he is collecting as many of the postcards as he can get his hands on.
He promised to split them with Hillary.
Barack Obama cut back his schedule for Copenhagen and when asked about the free sex he replied; “I don’t need any more sex. I get to screw America everyday and I get paid to do it.”
Source:
Spiegel Online
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Tags: Clinton, copenhagen, Obama, prostitutes
How Can We Get Michael Moore To Visit Peru?
Nov 22, 2009 Satire
Perhaps we can tell him that he needs to go there and check out some socialist plan of Utopia. Regardless, we need to get him to go to Peru.
Any suggestions on how to get him there?
Comments welcome.
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Tags: cosmetics, human fat, michael moore, peru
Bring Me The Head Of Michael Moore
Oct 26, 2009 Humor, Political, Satire
There is a new potential blockbuster on the horizon for Hollywood, and really, all anyone has to do is follow the porcine Michael Moore around with a camera (not too closely) for about three months- even leftists who support Chavez should be able to find Mr. Moore by then, and they are really dumb- look at who they support, while a formerly good and decent country is dragged down to third- world banana status.
It’s all about pride, and the perception that Hugo Chavez is something other than the idiot he seems to be- well, Chavistas can’t have that, so they attack anyone and anything that poses a problem for poor old Hugo. A jar of salsa can’t be opened by the great man? Line it up against a wall and shoot the top off. That’s one of their solutions to a resistance to Chavez. Third world banana republic tinpot dictators are like that, you know. Aw, shoot- I’m profiling again, aren’t I?
But they go further than that- Michael Moore’s comments on a Jimmy Kimmel show have made the Chavistas mad- he dared to portray El Gordo (the fat one) as less than God- like.
During a recent appearance on ABC’s late-night program “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” Mr. Moore gave an account — apparently tongue in cheek — of how he drank a bottle-and-a-half of tequila with Mr. Chávez at the Venice Film Festival in September, and how he mistook Venezuela’s burly foreign minister, Nicolás Maduro, for a bodyguard.
Those comments have created an uproar here among some of Mr. Chávez’s loyal supporters, known as Chavistas.
nytimes.com
Goodness- such a slam- the Chavistas were furious, but not because of just that one comment- wait!- there’s more-
Ms. Golinger and other Chavistas took particular umbrage at Mr. Moore’s suggestion that he had imbibed with Mr. Chávez (the president is a noted teetotaler) while giving him some speechwriting advice. The advice, Mr. Moore said in the appearance, had been accepted.
Mr. Moore’s comments “about President Chávez asking him to ‘help’ write his United Nations speech demonstrate Moore’s extreme ego,” Ms. Golinger wrote.
“President Chávez is one of the most brilliant speakers in the world, with an immense capacity to bring together a variety of ideas while being coherent,” she added. “We know that nobody writes his speeches, not even him! He speaks from his heart, and not from a teleprompter!”
nytimes.com
Yes, Chavez’ words rain down from heaven, yada, yada, yada- Chavez is a blowhard, that much is true, and the people who follow him are clueless lemmings, but, as I said at the outset, we might have a documentary/ snuff film/ comedy/ thriller on our hands. Oh, to have a handle on all those genres, and demographics, and all we have to do is get a few cameras and follow Mr. Moore around- the Chavistas have such a fragile ego collectively, that they resemble the White House, so we can expect the attacks to commence very soon.
But here its not the Chicago Way- its the Caracas Way- and they will use assassination- oh, they will need armor- piercing ammo, in order to penetrate that layer of blubber he protects himself with. Mickey D’s make for good kevlar- like protection- all those chemicals and preservatives, you know.
Perhaps they will use a harpoon, but that might bring the wrath of Greenpeace upon them. Wouldn’t that be cool? And if the Sierra Club got in on the chase, figuring that he needed to be banded and studied, and his natural environment ( a padded room) should be protected. Imagine the cast of characters, the twists and turns!
This could be done with non- union labor, just like Michael Moore does- oh, the irony, as we capture the final moments of his life, I can hear the cheering in the theaters. Doctors will be in the theaters during the last five minutes! Those who are weak of heart should not attend, for fear that the joy might be too much.
And just think- for once in his life, Chavez might actually have done something positive for this world and the environment.
I am sure however, the Venezuelans would stake a claim on Moore’s fat body, and designate it as an alternative energy source.
After all, whale oil used to be all the rage.
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Tags: chavez, el gordo, insults, michael moore, reality