How Hillary Will Win
Mar 27, 2008 Satire
It has already started The Clinton is now working to ensure that Hillary will win the nomination by ensuring that the Super Delegates go for her. Those who refuse will meet some unfortunate fate and not be able to cast a vote. Obama Super Delegates will evaporate because they will succumb to the mighty Clinton machine.
It has started already:
Puerto Rican Gov. Anibal Acevedo Vila (D), who is a superdelegate supporting Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.) for president, was indicted on 19 counts Thursday stemming from financial dealings in three political campaigns. The Hill
This is just the first of many players. Her team made an example out of the Puerto Rican Governor as a warning to others. The buzz will be loud; Don’t mess with the Clintonistas…
Of course, Governor Spitzer was a Hillary Super Delegate and he went down (pun intended) in flames. Well, the Obama camp does have a bunch of former Clintonites working in it.
Beware the reaper.
Tags: Clinton, crime, Hillary, nomination, Obama, super delegates
Pastor Wright’s Easter Sermon
Mar 22, 2008 Satire
I have received the transcript of Obama’s Pastor. He will deliver it on Easter. Obama will be at the beach so he will likely not attend. This is satire but it might be offensive to some…
Transcript:
Can I get an amen?
Can I get an ayyyyy men?
Can I get a hallelujah?
I said can I get a Haaa laaa leww yaaa?
Brothers and sisters I have come out of retirement to deliver a sermon about the resurrection, not the resurrection of the Obama campaign because those federal agents in the rear are here to ensure I do not violate the tax laws. They are white devils sent by the white devils in government to stifle my creativity. But we are here to discuss the resurrection of Jesus Christ, a black man who was put to death by the white devils of the time. Yes brothers and sisters, the whites put Jesus to death for healing the sick and helping the poor. They nailed him to a cross for preaching about Gawd. Jesus, a black man, dared to say he was the son of Gawd and we know that whitey cannot stand Gawd being called black, but black he is so to this day we are targeted. By speaking truth to power we end up with federal agents watching our every move.
Jesus Christ lived a modest life. He was born to a black couple and they were ostracized by the whites who said a savior could not be a black man and that unmarried couples should not have children. Jesus’ father Joseph was a carpenter by trade but could not get a job because of the racism of the time, a racism that continues to this day. They were not allowed to rent a home and had to travel around the desert. When Mary was ready to deliver the family went to an inn but were forced to sleep in the barn with the animals because the innkeeper was a racist who believed blacks to be no better than animals.
After Jesus was born three wise men showed up with gifts of bling to show praise for the newborn black King, a descendant of David. The happy family had to leave quickly because some cracker King wanted all black babies killed not unlike Planned Parenthood wants to do today. They traveled around the desert because no one would rent them a place to stay and when Brother Jesus got older he began to teach in the Synagogues. Jesus tried to teach the Jews but they were busy scratching through the sand in search of diamonds and paid little attention to what he said. As Jesus grew older he was loved by many but the white community became increasingly afraid of this educated brother who could raise people from the dead. They did not want some uppity nigger showing them up so they planned his demise, much like they are doing to a man running for president.
Jesus caught wind of this and his followers began to chant Gawd Damn Israel because the diamond merchants were helping the whites plot the demise of the Christ. Jesus was charged and brought before Pilate who believed him to be innocent but since he was a black man Pilate did not want to be too open about this. He offered the Jews the chance to release Jesus as a Passover gift but the Jews picked a white criminal instead. As usual, the black guy gets punished while the white criminal walks free. Even then, the system of justice was skewed against the black man.
The Jews refusal to release Jesus gave the whites the chance to crucify him. Some cracker smashed a crown of thorns on his head and they made him carry a heavy cross to his crucification site and which made him too tired to fight. They laid him down and an ancestor of George Bush nailed him to the cross with nails made of the same steel that the white devils used to shackle us for the trip to slavery. They hung Jesus from that cross and showed him little mercy. Then they stuck a sword through his side to ensure he was dead.
A few brothers got together and asked that they be allowed to entomb Jesus which Pilate allowed. But Pilate put a few guards there to keep brothers from stealing Jesus’ body and claiming he arose from the dead. On the third day Mary visited the tomb but it was empty. She thought some cracker stole Jesus but he appeared to her. Then she took him back to the hood so he could rap with the other brothers about being dead.
The Jews refused to believe that Christ had arisen and to this day have been damned by Gawd to live in turmoil. The whites were able to escape and create majority populations in Europe and America and they enslaved blacks to keep them from obtaining the greatness Jesus showed was possible. To this day Gawd has kept us blacks under wraps and oppressed us for allowing the whites to enslave us. He is finally allowing us to speak out and allowing a brother to run for president.
Gawd started all this by creating 9/11 so the whites would be more focused on Muslims than blacks because their racial hatred knows no bounds. Today we mark the resurrection of Jesus as the beginning of the end of the white race. We must rise up and kill the white snake by cutting off its head and leaving it to die. We will then rise up and rule the world as Gawd had intended.
Can I get an amen?
Can I get an ayyyyy men?
Can I get a hallelujah?
I said can I get a Haaa laaa leww yaaa?
Tags: easter, jesus, pastor wright, racism, sermon
I Thought it was About the Clintons
Mar 4, 2008 Satire
I saw a headline at Drudge that read; “Man struck in head with bat during argument over politics” and I naturally assumed it was about Bill and Hillary Clinton. Her temper is well known and she has thrown ashtrays and other items at Bill while they infested the White House so I figured she must have been ticked about how she is getting her butt kicked and decided to take it out on slick Willy.
Unfortunately, the story is about two friends (that leaves the Clintons out) who got in an argument during the Clinton/Obama debate when one whacked the other in the head with a bat. After he whacked his buddy, the guy took him to the hospital so his pal could get fixed up. After he told the police what happened he was arrested. The victim is in Intensive Care.
If the elections in Texas and Ohio today go badly for Hillary we might just be reading a story about Bill getting beat half to death with something…
Hillary Health Care Plan Must Really Work
Feb 6, 2008 Satire
Yesterday morning Hillary Clinton was to do an interview on KTVU-TV in San Francisco. She was asked a question about her husband’s role in her campaign and she suddenly started coughing and the coughing continued so that she was unable to complete the interview. I know she has been around screeching all over the place and she was probably screaming quite a bit during the Super Bowl (she has always been a Giants fan) so i am sure she had some throat issues. Still, I could not help wondering if the coughs were forced to avoid tough questions about her hubby.
I realize this is cynical but the Clintons will do anything to avoid tough issues and to win so it is not beyond belief that she would have a coughing fit so that she could skip the interview and move on. However, since she had similar problems leading George Stephanopoulos to tell her to get some tea and honey for a similar coughing fit. Why the skepticism then?
I watched the election results last night and listened to Hillary give her “victory” speech and I noticed that she did not cough during it. She was able to screech and yell and point to people and praise them without a coughing fit that would force her to stop. Drudge billed the KTVU episode as a “Hillary Health Scare” (he has a flair for the dramatic) and it was serious enough to delay taping 48 hours earlier and stop an interview. How did she heal so rapidly that she did not have a coughing spell during her speech which required much more talking than the prior interviews?
I guess her health care plan really does work…
Others with interesting posts:
Outside the Beltway, The Virtuous Republic, Rosemary’s Thoughts, The Pink Flamingo, Cao’s Blog, A Newt One, Conservative Cat, and The Yankee Sailor, thanks to Linkfest Haven Deluxe.
Tags: Clinton, coughing fits, health scare, hillary 08
What Happens When You Cross the Clintons
Feb 3, 2008 Satire
John Kerry’s sister was mugged in New York, the home of Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton (it figures she would be from a place where criminals run around), and her purse was stolen. Was this a random criminal act or was it a message to the Kerry clan? It would be easy to say it was random but she had never been mugged there before and did not get mugged there until John effin Kerry (a guy many Demos supported but now call a loser) endorsed B. Hussein Obama. Coincidence?
There is a long list of people associated with the Clintons who have died under mysterious circumstances. I suppose that one could look at any well known person and find a bunch of deaths that occurred around him and they would all be coincidence. It is quite amazing that Clinton has had so many die before they were to testify or before they were to release information. What is also amazing is the manner in which some of these folks died.
I have also never seen an autopsy report indicate that gunshots to the back of the head were self inflicted and the death was a suicide but the Clintons were associated with quite a few who died that way (what are the odds). The death of Vince Foster left behind enough irregularities to raise questions but they were never adequately addressed. I believe if Vince Foster actually had a gun that day he would still be alive.
The Clintonista crime family has long arms that reach from the drug deal airports in Arkansas to the rest stops along the roads to DC. Anyone who crosses them or exposes them or even threatens to is asking for trouble. They don’t like people to be against them and they will do what it takes to stop problems. If I just disappear from the blogosphere, they got me (but not without one hell of a fight).
John Kerry and Ted Kennedy (and soon Al Gore) had better look out. They endorsed Hillary’s opponent and though she plays it off, she is probably trying to figure out how to get even. Mugging a sister might just be the beginning…
These guys had better not travel together and if they do, Ted better not drive.
Hillary said that when she was little she wanted to be an astronaut. I figure that is a bunch of crap she said to appear more human but her mother confirmed it (as if that is a reliable source). I just wish they had let her be an astronaut and had put her on the crew of STS-51-L.
Hillary is Satan.
Tags: Clinton, Kerry, mugging, unexplained deaths