Obama Inauguration Day Schedule
by Big Dog on Jan 18, 2009 at 11:27 Satire
Barack Hussein Obama will take the oath of office around noon on Tuesday and his revised schedule has been released. The planners had to change it because of the expected crowd size and the lack of portable toilets as well as the congestion of the area.
- 1030: People will be relieved of suffering as Obamessiah raises his hands toward the sky and thousands more portable toilets appear. This is his “loads and toilet fishes miracle.”
- 1045: Obama will have coffee with outgoing President George Bush. He will then turn two danish pastries into a bakery so the staff can eat.
- 1100: Ms. Obama will tour the White House with Ms. Bush. Obama will have a punch list to ensure that she will be proud to live in a “White” House.
- 1115: Rick Warren will prepare to deliver his prayer and Obama will smite him. His words will sound like gibberish and he will embrace homosexual marriage. A huge love fest will spontaneously occur in San Francisco.
- 1130: Joe Biden will swear in and claim to be the smartest man on the planet. The crowd will ask each other “who is that?
- 1155: The chants of Obama will increase and change to Hosanna as Obama ascends the steps, without touching them, and takes his rightful place.
- 1200: Chief Justice John Roberts will issue the Oath of Office to Obama who will be using Lincoln’s Bible. As Obama recites the words he will raise Lincoln from the dead so he too can witness the greatness of The One.
- 1205: Obama will deliver his inauguration speech which will be heard by the world’s people in their native languages. No Tower of Babel from the Messiah.
- 1220: This is a change Obama will begin his inaugural parade. The route has been changed. Now the sainted one (PBUH) will walk across the Capitol Reflecting Pool on his way to the White House. Once he is on the other side he will turn and divide the water so ordinary mortals can follow him on his remarkable journey to change.
- 1230: The band Bachman Turner Overdrive will appear and follow Obama along the parade route playing “You ain’t Seen Nothing Yet.”
- 1255: Obama will arrive at the White House and sit in the Oval Office for pictures by the adoring press. His pictures will come out with a halo.
- 1325: The crowd will disperse to take his teachings across the nation.
- 1900: The Sainted One will solve all world problems by this time and the economic problems will magically disappear.
Now we know what is planned.
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Tags: inauguration, messiah, miracles, Obama, the one
I think there will somehow be more homosexual sex in most of the plans…
“1900: The Sainted One will solve all world problems by this time and the economic problems will magically disappear.”
The sad fact is many people honestly believe that will occur. I look forward to seeing a little thing called “reality” shattering those expectations.
Ogre,
Another reason not to watch.
Spidey,
I am wondering if the dreams shattering will deafen some…
I think this is hilarious, but not far from being true. I am so tired of him being treated like God. God would have produced a birth certificate if He needed one. God is not arrogant and does not lie. Obama had better start repenting because God could knock the pride out of him in an instant. I give him one year and he will be hated. Until he presents a birth certificate, I will not recognize him as President. Also, the money that is being spent on this inauguration is ridiculous when people in the US are going hungry and the economy is so bad. He must also think he is God.
Barbara…I think you just spoke a WORD!!!
I’m sitting here twitching at the thought of this man leading our country. My liberal leftie friends are encouraging me to keep an open mind…that Obamessiah will pull off some amazing stuff. I sincerely hope they are right…but i fear–REALLY fear–they are wrong. Scariest first couple in history, are they not???
Will he, with a small h, pay my rent and put gas in my car, too?
The One will give free houses to everyone currently imprisoned in Guantanamo provided they volunteer to work for Acorn at $75,000 a year.
The One will ask everyone in America to chip in our disposable income to buy a new house, free of charge, for anyone who wants one.
When questioned about what to do if someone who currently has a house and is current on the mortgage asks for a free house so they can stop paying their mortgage, the Messiah answered, “You bigot, those are people, they have rights.”
PS I like your blog and am putting you on my blogroll.
Could you list my link too?
too bad I cannot spell
my site is http://carol1977.wordpress.com
Watch Barack Obama’s Inauguration Live Streaming Online – January 20 – Inauguration of Barack Obama as the 44th President of the United States. Obama and Vice President-elect Joe Biden are due to be sworn in and deliver inauguration speeches next Tuesday in Washington, D.C. Catch Barack Obama Inauguration Day live at
http://www.iwebie.com/barack-obama-inauguration-live-streaming-video-online