Satellite Kills Taliban On Obama’s Orders *SATIRE*
by Big Dog on Sep 24, 2011 at 09:57 Satire
A NASA Satellite the size of a bus fell to Earth in the wee hours of the morning breaking apart and mostly disintegrating in the atmosphere. A few dozen large parts fell to Earth and struck the leaders of the Taliban in Afghanistan. The terror group is in disarray and the loss of its leaders might mean an end to the group.
Barack Obama went on national television just after the deaths were confirmed to let the public know that at his direction, the NASA satellite was aimed for the Taliban in order to kill them. Obama indicated that it was his wise leadership that realized the satellite could be used to rid us of an enemy and he directed NASA to aim the orbiting space junk at the Taliban.
“Shortly after midnight (Eastern) a satellite from NASA was, under my orders, directed to land on Taliban leaders in Afghanistan. I knew this was a risky move because innocent civilians could have been killed but I thought the risk was worth the effort. Under my leadership, the Taliban leaders were killed by falling space junk thus saving taxpayer dollars on missiles and other ordnance. As with the take out of Bin Laden, I had complete control of everything going on and am confident that the world is a better place because of me. There were not enough pieces of the dead leaders to conduct a burial at sea”, Obama stated at the press conference. [Made up news dot com]
Asked if he intended to use other space junk as weaponry, Obama declined to answer citing national security.
Pundits expect the move to kill Taliban with space junk will give Obama a huge bump in the polls and lead him to a successful reelection in 2012.
**For all the liberals, the defunct Attack Watch, and Media Matters, this piece is satire.
Cave Canem!
Never surrender, never submit.
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Tags: nasa, Obama, satellite, taliban
Dang! Just when I was ready to vote for that sucker, you say its satire- crab’s nuts! I was so ready to give my heart and soul to the won, ready to abase myself at his feet, and mutter prayers of appeasment to his purple painted toenails when you let me down- now I have to face a reality of no hope nor change, but eight men and one woman on a dais.
Perhaps Sarah Palin will appear, riding in on foam-flecked seas, standing in a clam-shell, the morning’s first rays of light giving her a glow….
Just think. If this ploy of his had failed, he would have blamed Bush. Hope he doesn’t hurt himself patting himself on the back.