More Monday Humor
Apr 2, 2007 Uncategorized
This from Mrs. Dog:
Jim & Edna
Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.
Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom of the pool and pulled Jim out.
When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna’s heroic act, she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news, she said, “Edna, I have good news and bad news.
The good news is you’re being discharged. Since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.
The bad news is that Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he’s dead.”
Edna replied, “He didn’t hang himself, I put him there to dry.”
“How soon can I go home?”
My friend GM Roper will appreciate this!
Tags: Humor
You Might Just Be a Moonbat
Mar 14, 2007 Uncategorized
This started as you might just be a liberal but moonbat (moonbatus barkingus) more accurately describes the species of person who wear tin foil hats and drinks Howard Dean’s special blend of Kool-Aid. So, here is the new and improved version:
- If you sat idly by while Bill Clinton fired 93 prosecutors for purely political reasons but now insist that George Bush fire his Attorney General for firing 8 prosecutors for substandard performance, you might just be a moonbat.
- If you believe that Hillary Clinton is right when she says there is a Vast Right Wing Conspiracy because a few Republicans were convicted for messing with elections but never mention the huge number of Democrats who have been involved in or convicted of the same, you might just be a moonbat.
- If you demand impeachment because the War on Terror in Iraq, though authorized by Congress, is illegal and that the US needed UN approval for the action but have no problem with Bill Clinton bombing an aspirin factory without the approval of the UN or the Congress, you might just be a moonbat.
- If you believe that we need universal health care run by the government and think it would be run beautifully but then criticize the military health care system for its woes and inefficiency, you might just be a moonbat.
- If you believe that General Pace’s opinions about homosexuals should be kept to himself but believe that Representative Warner should be applauded for his opinions on homosexuality, you might just be a moonbat.
- If you believe that George Bush’s swagger and Texas demeanor are phony but that Hillary Clinton using a bad Southern accent is genuine, you might just be a moonbat.
- If you think starting a fight with with those who disagree with your anti war protest makes perfectly good sense, you might just be a moonbat.
- If you think that using the word faggot in reference to John Edwards is punishable by death but that comparing Bush to Hitler is perfectly OK, you might just be a moonbat.
Feel free to add any that you come up with…
Tags: Humor
Hillary and Educational Incentive
Mar 4, 2007 Uncategorized
Here is a little bit of humor from Wayfarer:
Hillary Clinton was spending the morning at a primary school in Ithaca, New York to talk to the children about her job as a US Senator. After her talk, she offered question time. One little boy puts up his hand, and the Senator asks him what his name is.
“Kenneth.”
“And what is your question, Kenneth?”
“I have three questions:
First – Whatever happened to your medical health care plan?
Second – Why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office?
And third – Whatever happened to all the stuff you and President Clinton took when you left the White House?”
Just then the bell rang for recess.
Hillary Clinton informed the kids that they would continue after recess.
When they resumed, Hillary said, “Okay, where were we? Oh, that’s right, question time.
Who has a question?”
A different little boy raised his hand; the esteemed Senator from New York pointed him out and asked him what his name is.
“Larry.”
“And what is your question?”
“I have five questions:
First – Whatever happened to your medical health care plan?
Second – Why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office?
Third – Whatever happened to all the stuff you and President Clinton took when you left the White House?
Fourth – Why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early?
And fifth – What happened to Kenneth?”
Tags: Humor
Reagan’s Last Words
Feb 20, 2007 Uncategorized
I don’t know whether or not you watched the memorial service for Ronald Reagan, but if you did, you probably noticed that Bill and Hillary were both dozing off.
President Ronald Reagan, who never missed a chance for a good one-liner, raised his head out of his casket and said…
Big Dog Salute to MF
Tags: Humor
Pelosi Begins Job of Mentoring
Feb 14, 2007 Uncategorized
Barack Obama gets his first lesson in finger pointing from House Speaker Bella Pelosi.
“Now Barack, remember to only do this when accusing a Republican or trying to shift blame to a Republican.”
“Yes’um Ms. Speaker”
Tags: Humor