Cure For ADHD
Aug 18, 2006 Uncategorized
I received this from someone and found it amusing.
Tags: Humor
Little Old Lady From Green Bay
Aug 18, 2006 Uncategorized
A little old lady is walking down the street, dragging two plastic garbage bags with her, one in each hand. There’s a hole in one of the bags, and every once in a while a $20 bill is flying out of it onto the pavement.
Noticing this, a policeman stops her…
“Ma’am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag…” “Damn!” says the little old lady…..”I’d better go back and see if I can still find some. Thanks for the warning!”
“Well, now, not so fast,” says the cop. “How did you get all that money?” “Did you steal it?”
“Oh, no”, says the little old lady. “You see, my back yard backs up to the parking lot of Lambeau Field. Each time there’s a game, a lot of fans come and pee in the bushes, right into my flower beds!” “So, I go and stand behind the bushes with a big hedge clipper,
and each time someone sticks his little thingie through the bushes, I say: $20 or off it comes!”
“Hey, not a bad idea!” laughs the cop. “OK, good luck! By the way, what’s in the other bag?”
“Well”, says the little old lady, “Some guys think I’m bluffing.”
Tags: Humor
So That’s How To Make A Liberal
Aug 7, 2006 Uncategorized
The Daily Mail from the UK is reporting that there will be an investigation into the tumble drying of a firefighter. It seems that a firefighter consented to being put in a large clothes dryer and tumbled around.
Now we know how they make liberals! The put them in large tumble dryers and their heads band around while they breathe in the hot air. The combination of hot air and trauma causes enough brain damage to produce a liberal.
Of course, they must have had Liberal leanings from the start because anyone who would do this, isn’t too bright to begin with.
Tags: Humor
Something To Laugh About
Aug 2, 2006 Uncategorized
During a visit to a mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was that defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
“Well,” said the Director, “we fill up a bathtub; then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.”
“Oh, I understand,” said the visitor. “A normal person would use the bucket because it’s bigger than the spoon or the teacup.
“No,” said the Director, “A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed by the wall or near the window?
Big Dog Salute to DG.
Tags: Humor
Satan In Church
Jul 31, 2006 Uncategorized
I thought this might lighten things up a bit:
One Sunday morning, everyone in one bright, beautiful, tiny town got up early and went to the local church. Before the services started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking about their lives, their families, etc. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.
Soon everyone was evacuated from the church, except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew, not moving… seemingly oblivious to the fact that God’s ultimate enemy was in his presence. Now this confused Satan a bit, so he walked up to the man and said, “Don’t you know who I am?”
The man replied, “Yep, sure do.”
Satan asked, “Aren’t you afraid of me?”
“Nope, sure ain’t,” said the man.
Satan was a little perturbed at this and queried, “Why aren’t you afraid of me?”
The man calmly replied, “Been married to your sister for over 48 years.”
Big Dog Salute to JG
Tags: Humor