Britney Gets Balled
Feb 18, 2007 Uncategorized
Britney Spears shaved all the hair off her head. She started out a few years ago as a nice young lady who was very attractive. Now, she is nothing more than trailer park trash. She is disgusting looking and now she has shaved her hair off. While I find that a pretty woman with no hair is still very attractive, Spears became an ugly woman long before she decided to go all Kojack on us.
But the headlines baffle me. Britney Gets Balled. Have we not heard that before? Isn’t that why she married Federline?
Related story:
ABC
Tags: Satire
George Bush Strikes New Orleans, Again
Feb 13, 2007 Uncategorized
Well, we all know that it was George Bush who gave New Orleans hurricane Katrina by making Karl Rove operate the weather machine. Kanye West told us that George Bush hated black people and the Democratic Party blamed Bush for the storm, the response, the clean-up, the levees, and any other thing that could have gone wrong. If this were the time of the Crucifixion I think the left would have blamed Bush for Jesus being nailed to the Cross.
Now a tornado has hit New Orleans and while most sane people might actually think this was an act of nature I have news for the uninformed. George W. Bush was responsible for that too. No, he did not have Rove crank up the weather machine, he put tornado magnets down there. Remember when FEMA moved all those trailers down there? That was really part of an evil plot by Bush to attract tornadoes because everyone knows that trailers are tornado magnets. That is what a divorce in Arkansas has in common with a tornado, either way someone is going to lose a trailer.
Anyway, Bush had FEMA put the tornado magnets there and viola, a tornado appeared. To make matters worse, the elderly lady who was killed WAS LIVING IN A FEMA TRAILER.
That George Bush. Is there nothing he won’t do to those poor people in New Orleans?
Source:
al-Reuters
Tags: Satire
A Failed Marriage
Jan 29, 2007 Uncategorized
This is a story of a failed marriage and everyone in America knows the parties. A long time ago Miss X agreed to marry Mr. Y. This was not an easy marriage and there were many troubles along the way. Papers were drawn up prior to the marriage and parties agreed upon the terms in said papers. The marriage was rocky at the beginning and there was a lot of infighting with family members pitted against each other. When the major battles were worked out the couple settled in and were in agreement in most things along the way.
Unfortunately, somewhere along the way Mrs. Y decided to divorce herself from Mr. Y and she decided that she needed money to survive. Her spending habits were out of control and she told Mr. Y that she needed more money. Mr. Y did not want to give it to her but she had the largest assembly of lawyers eager to help her get money; for any money she took in would result in a windfall for them. Every time her spending habits got out of control she exercised the same tactics and her lawyers extorted more money from Mr Y. They threatened to put him in jail if he did not pay up. They had the law on their side so he was forced to pay.
As time moved on her spending was not only out of control but many of her spending habits included giving her money away to different people or groups of people many of whom just decided to sponge off her rather than earn their own way. Every time she needed more money to fuel her habit she went to her lawyers and they upped the alimony that he was forced to pay. Things became so bad that he was working to pay for the retirement of her elderly relatives. He was paying for their prescription drugs and they forced him to set aside part of his money to redistribute to them each month. To make things worse her lawyers allowed out of town people to move in and take his home away from him without paying their fair share for the goods they enjoyed. He tried to put the money into a retirement account for himself but her lawyers would not allow that to happen.
Try as he might, Mr. Y was unable to change the ways of his evil spouse and one day he died alone and poor. He did not have enough money to pass along to his children and they were forced to work to pay the debts that she kept accumulating.
Everyone knows the happy couple in this story and we all know the major players. Miss X is the US government, Mr. Y is the American citizen, the uninvited guests are the ILLEGALS that enter this country every day, and the lawyers who work for Miss X are the members of Congress. Of course, the alimony is taxes and those enforcing payment of said alimony; the IRS.
[tags]marriage, Congress, taxes, divorce, illegals, immigration, welfare[/tags]
Tags: Satire
Nancy Pelosi Gets Her Own Street Sign
Jan 6, 2007 Political
As I reported earlier, Nancy Pelosi was honored by having a street named after her in Baltimore, the city she grew up in. The street sign was placed during a ceremony in a rainy downtown Baltimore. In order to not only honor the woman but to honor her beliefs and to reflect on the Democratic Party, the Nancy Pelosi Street sign had a few others attached to it. As you can see from the picture, taken in Downtown Baltimore, No expense was spared to honor the new Screecher of the House. This truly captures the essence of such an “average” woman.
First Muslim in Congress Swears to Jihad
Jan 4, 2007 Political
Keith Ellison, the first Muslim to infiltrate Congress, swore in today as the 110th Congress began this year’s trek into further ineptitude. Ellison swore in on a Koran that belonged to Thomas Jefferson. The historic piece was used at the request of Ellison probably as a way of saying that it must be OK because the book was Jefferson’s. Back then our founders were pretty smart and even that long ago they recognized the evil enemy. Jefferson was undoubtedly reading up on them so he would know what to expect. Jefferson was probably trying to ensure these savages did not enter the newly founded country. In any event, the MSM is salivating over the fact that this book of hatred belonged to Jefferson, as if it makes it all OK. Funny how when they discuss Jefferson owning a Koran he is a good guy but when we discuss the fact he owned slaves he is a bad guy. I guess the next time Robert Byrd swears in he can borrow a few slaves from the Jefferson estate because, well if ole’ Thomas did it, it must be right.
I was not there but we can imagine how the swearing in went:
“I
AbdulMohammadal AbrihimKeith Ellison do solemnly swear that I will uphold the parts of the Constitution that will help advance the spread of Islam and use those parts against the infidel Americans and that I will protect radical Muslim groups like CAIR and other terrorist front agencies to advance the spread of Islam by waging jihad against all infidels. I swear to make all women, even the newly installed Speaker, cover their bodies and serve men who will have converted. I take this oath freely so help me Allah. Ah lalalalalalala Akkbarrrr. Death to all infidels!”
This will be fun. I wonder how long it will be before he sponsors legislation to sell weapons to Hamas and Hezbollah. His death to Israel package is already in the works.