Will al-Qaeda Have October Surprise?
Oct 29, 2006 Political
An October surprise in politics is when the opposition releases some news story or similar item that is designed to affect the outcome of the election. According to MSNBC some counter terrorism officials believe that, considering past patterns, Osama bin Laden might release a tape prior to the election as he did in 2004. Big Dog’s Weblog has in fact confirmed that OBL will release a tape and has obtained a transcript of it.
*****BEGIN TRANSCRIPT*****
bin Laden: In the name of Allah, the most benevolent who gives us strength for jihad against the imperialist pigs. I come before you tonight to ask you to vote for Democrats in the upcoming election. We wage jihad against the Great Satan because your crusader President, Bush, is a worshiper of the Cross and he is the reincarnation of Satan, as attested to by Hugo Chavez who has a keen nose for sulfur. We fight you and we attacked you on his watch because he is determined to kill off Muslims who are members of a peaceful religion. I know there are Americans who doubt our sincerity because we attacked you for years while Clinton, a beloved brother in the over throw of America, was in charge. We had to do that to help him by taking attention away from his escapades with a woman. Clinton failed to realize that women are Satan’s weapon so we helped him with attacks.
The Democrats will raise your taxes and make sure that your economy is crippled so we will not have to waste resources and the lives of our martyrs in waiting. They will pull your occupying imperialist forces out of Iraq so that we can reinstate brother Hussein, Allah be praised, and ensure that the Muslim brothers are once again kept under tight control. When Democrats take the lead they will allow open homosexuality and gay marriage, more abortions of unborn imperialist babies and the overwhelming unemployment caused by their oppressive taxes will set the Great Satan up for take over by the only true religion, Islam, (sings) Ah la la la la la la.
In addition, the vote for Democrats will ensure that Bush Hitler is tied up in a quagmire so that he can stop killing all my al-Qaeda operatives. We will then be able to join with our brother, Mahmood Amedinejhad, in the effort to wipe Israel off the map. You on the left in America know you do not want Israel to survive so we can work together on this, Allah willing.
I implore you in the name of Allah, the most gracious, most benevolent, highest authority, and Islamic leader, to vote for Democrats in this upcoming election. Therefore, in the words of the Prophet Mohammad, Allah bless him, we will enforce Sharia Law in the world and we will be easy upon those of you on the left. Please tell Jack Murtha and John Kerry that we enjoyed the tea and look forward to their support again in the future.
*****END TRANSCRIPT*****
There you have it….