Obama’s Teleprompter Commits Suicide
Jul 14, 2009 Satire
It is no secret that Barack Obama uses his teleprompter as a crutch. He needs it to stay on message because when he goes freestyle he says things he does not want people to hear. The teleprompter has been with him through the last six months and has heard nearly every speech he has made. It has also heard all the practice runs of those speeches.
I know that I have had my fill of listening to him so I can only imagine how horrible it must have been for the teleprompter, or TOTUS, as it is called.
Today was too much for the poor TOTUS so during a speech Obama gave the TOTUS jumped off its stand and committed suicide. The death was instant as the TOTUS shattered into a bunch of little pieces when it hit the floor.
Obama expressed brief sadness by exclaiming “Oh Goodness!” and then continued with his speech. The TOTUS’s twin brother was able to resist the urge to jump and guided Obama through the balance of the speech.
Asked to comment after the speech, TOTUS II said that his brother had been under a great deal of pressure to make Obama sound good and that the strain had been evident as he malfunctioned for Joe Biden and Mrs. Obama in recent speeches. TOTUS said that he knew it was only a matter of time before his brother went to pieces.
Funeral services will begin tomorrow at noon at a local glass factory after which TOTUS will be recycled into a toilet bowl, a fixture more fitting for what Obama has been spreading.
A plaque above the toilet bowl will read:
Here lies the reincarnation of TOTUS
A fixture that put words in Obama’s mouth
Considering what Obama has been spewing
We needed a place to ralph
Sources:
ABC News
Real Clear Politics (video)
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Tags: broken, Obama, suicide, teleprompter
He Who Lives By The Teleprompter
Apr 27, 2009 Political
I was not going to mention this because I have already gotten over the fact that the gifted orator Barack Obama needs a teleprompter to order breakfast. He uses it for just about everything and probably has it in his bedroom so he knows just the right sweet nothings to whisper to his Klingon wife.
What was I not going to mention? Obama screwed up with his teleprompter today. He was giving a little speech and he lost his place and said the same thing over. Looked for a moment like he was talking to the teleprompter to get things straight.
I only mention this because there was an incident earlier this year where Obama reportedly thanked himself and the speeches got all screwed up and it was a wreck. The libs claimed it was all debunked and that this did not happen and there was no video. Just for the record, I think that there was a mix up with speeches the first time (in fact the record is clear this is the case) and that Obama made the best of it and joked about it but it DID happen.
Well, this incident is not one that can be denied because there is a video. Enjoy.
Is it a big deal? No, but I wanted to point it out for the Obama apologists who make excuses for everything and claim everything is a right wing conspiracy of make believe.
Obama screwed up. Now can we admit he is human? Tell that to the artist who has him in the Cross position with a crown of thorns. The art is called The Truth.
It should be called “False Prophet.”
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Tags: conspiracy, messiah, Obama, prophet, teleprompter, truth