Obama Inauguration Day Schedule
Jan 18, 2009 Satire
Barack Hussein Obama will take the oath of office around noon on Tuesday and his revised schedule has been released. The planners had to change it because of the expected crowd size and the lack of portable toilets as well as the congestion of the area.
- 1030: People will be relieved of suffering as Obamessiah raises his hands toward the sky and thousands more portable toilets appear. This is his “loads and toilet fishes miracle.”
- 1045: Obama will have coffee with outgoing President George Bush. He will then turn two danish pastries into a bakery so the staff can eat.
- 1100: Ms. Obama will tour the White House with Ms. Bush. Obama will have a punch list to ensure that she will be proud to live in a “White” House.
- 1115: Rick Warren will prepare to deliver his prayer and Obama will smite him. His words will sound like gibberish and he will embrace homosexual marriage. A huge love fest will spontaneously occur in San Francisco.
- 1130: Joe Biden will swear in and claim to be the smartest man on the planet. The crowd will ask each other “who is that?
- 1155: The chants of Obama will increase and change to Hosanna as Obama ascends the steps, without touching them, and takes his rightful place.
- 1200: Chief Justice John Roberts will issue the Oath of Office to Obama who will be using Lincoln’s Bible. As Obama recites the words he will raise Lincoln from the dead so he too can witness the greatness of The One.
- 1205: Obama will deliver his inauguration speech which will be heard by the world’s people in their native languages. No Tower of Babel from the Messiah.
- 1220: This is a change Obama will begin his inaugural parade. The route has been changed. Now the sainted one (PBUH) will walk across the Capitol Reflecting Pool on his way to the White House. Once he is on the other side he will turn and divide the water so ordinary mortals can follow him on his remarkable journey to change.
- 1230: The band Bachman Turner Overdrive will appear and follow Obama along the parade route playing “You ain’t Seen Nothing Yet.”
- 1255: Obama will arrive at the White House and sit in the Oval Office for pictures by the adoring press. His pictures will come out with a halo.
- 1325: The crowd will disperse to take his teachings across the nation.
- 1900: The Sainted One will solve all world problems by this time and the economic problems will magically disappear.
Now we know what is planned.
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Tags: inauguration, messiah, miracles, Obama, the one
Ann Coulter Banned From NBC
Jan 5, 2009 Political
Ann Coulter is a feisty conservative who believes in no holds barred politics and she is spot on in her analysis nearly every time she speaks. She understands the liberal mind and she knows what makes it tick as well as how to pluck its last string. She has more testicular fortitude than some of the so called men in the Republican party and she is fearless. I admire her intelligence and her talent to tweak the left. The fact that she is nice looking is a plus as well.
Coulter was supposed to go on the NBC Today show tomorrow to discuss her new book; Guilty: Liberal “Victims” and Their Assault on America. She was unceremoniously dropped from the show with the cowardly claim that it was overbooked (though they booked her months ago). The overbooked show then went out and got Perez Hilton who will appear and hawk his new book. Hilton is openly homosexual and true to his pansy ways, he once offered $1000 to anyone who would throw a pie at Ann Coulter (according to Drudge). A real man would have thrown the pie himself but I guess it is hard to keep from dropping the pie when one has a limp wrist.
Insiders at NBC say that Coulter has been banned from the network permanently because:
“We are just not interested in anyone so highly critical of President-elect Obama, right now,” a TODAY insider reveals. “It’s such a downer. It’s just not the time, and it’s not what our audience wants, either.”
They are not interested in someone critical of Obama? This makes sense since none of the MSM has been critical of him since he walked across a pond to become the messiah. God forbid anyone should be critical of Obama.
This is, of course, the same network that had no problem in bringing people on who were critical of George Bush. For the past eight years NBC has had one Bush basher after another on to be “highly critical” of him. This is the network that employs tingly leg Chris Matthews who I don’t believe has ever had a kind word about President Bush and Keith Olberman who is nothing more than a rabid idiot who spews vile from his mouth every time he opens it. He has insulted President Bush every time he has been on the air and he makes no bones about his hatred for the president. So NBC has no moral high ground when it comes to talking critical of a president (or in this case the president elect).
Now NBC did say that it is not what its audience wants. I imagine that is correct. The people who watch NBC are a bunch of losers who sit around all day eating bon bons. The only exercise they get is walking to the mailbox to see if their welfare check has arrived. The people who watch Matthews or Olberman are mental midgets who could not empty a bucket if the directions were written on the bottom. These are the kind of people who are so slow it would take them an hour and a half to watch 60 minutes. Anyone who gives Olberman any credibility is not mentally capable of being out in public alone. He is a moonbat on acid and should be thrown in a room with Perez Hilton on a Viagra overdose.
Ann Coulter has six New York Times best sellers. If NBC wants to exclude her from appearing it will not affect sales. In fact, the publicity will probably help them.
However, NBC has demonstrated why most people (except the morons who drool while watching NBC) do not trust the MSM.
I don’t watch much, if anything on NBC. I will continue to avoid that network. If we are fortunate it will go bankrupt and disappear. Just say no to NBC.
I will, however, be buying Coulter’s new book.
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Tags: ann coulter, guilty, media bias, messiah, nbc, Obama, savior, the one
The Story Change We Can Believe In
Dec 10, 2008 Political
This is our time, this is the our moment, change is on the way. And with words like these Barack Obama rode a wave of excitement all the way to an election victory marking the first time a black person has won that office and demonstrating that the Constitution means little to him.
Barack Obama’s change we need seems to be everything but what he promised people. The change they thought they were getting is a change of politics as usual in DC but it turns out that Obama is more of the same. He has selected a bunch of retreads from the Clinton years and he has backtracked on a number of his promises. The moonbats are very upset with him because he is now saying different things than he did when he wanted votes.
It also seems that the change he meant was that his people would change their stories in order to keep him from being further linked to bad things like the corruption that Illinois, particularly Chicago, is famous for. Twenty percent of the governors from that state have been indicted or convicted and the current criminal chief executive is no different. Governor Rod Blagojevich was arrested yesterday after FBI agents used a LEGAL wiretap to intercept his calls. Seems the Governor was holding an auction for the Senate seat vacated by Barack Obama. The governor made it clear that Obama has sex with mothers and that the seat was open to the highest bidder. Blagojevich made it clear that he wanted money.
One of the candidates for the seat was a person Obama wanted to get it but the governor was not happy about that stating that Obama would only give him some appreciation instead of a position in his administration. One would have to believe that Obama had spoken with the governor about his [Obama’s] preference and since the governor knew Obama was only offering praise it only makes sense to conclude that it must have been discussed. In other words, how did Blagojevich know he would only get gratitude if he had not discussed it?
But hold on now. There is no way that we are going to tie Obama to any of this. As a matter of fact, Obama said he had not spoken with the Governor and that he was not involved in any of it.
The problem is, a few weeks ago David Axelrod, Obama’s senior adviser, told Fox News Chicago that Barry had spoken with the governor:
While insisting that the President-elect had not expressed a favorite to replace him, and his inclination was to avoid being a “kingmaker,” Axelrod said, “I know he’s talked to the governor and there are a whole range of names many of which have surfaced, and I think he has a fondness for a lot of them.” [emphasis mine]
As is usual, the Obama team came out and denied this. They say that Axelrod merely misspoke when he was on Fox. Axlerod himself confirmed this. Yes, since it disputes what The One has said then it must have been a misstatement.
The problem is, Axlerod said I KNOW he’s talked to him. He did not say I think he did, or he might have, or I am unsure, he said I KNOW. How can this be a misstatement? If he said that Obama had spoken with him and then it turns out that he did not then he could have misspoken but in this case he said he knew it.
I believe that he did know it because nothing that Obama does happens without Axelrod knowing. This is exactly how he KNEW it. But, the story has to change because if it does not then Obama is a liar and we can’t have that when it comes to the Messiah. Obama, as is his pattern, threw Axelrod under the bus. Axelrod had to fall on his sword to ensure Obama was not caught in a lie.
When he said that he would bring change to Washington he meant that they would change their stories to whatever is convenient. Instead of change we can believe in we have changed stories that are hard to believe.
Obama spoke with disgraced governor Rod Blagojevich about this issue but The Sainted One is trying to distance himself from the controversy and he did that with a lie. Obama backed Blagojevich each time he ran for office and had good things to say about him. Turns out that he was not such a great guy after all. When will we hear; “Rod Blagojevich is not the governor I knew”? Hey you, get under the bus.
What did Barack Obama know and when did he know it? The governor already said that Obama would not pay to play so that means Obama knew about the game Blagojevich was playing. Why did Obama not go to the authorities? Of course it is because it is Illinois and this is how politics is done there so for Obama it was business as usual.
The guy is not even really the president elect yet. He has won the election but the Electors do not meet until the 15th to cast their votes. At that time he will be the PE. No, he is nothing yet and already we have scandals coming out that involve him even if it is in some tangential fashion. At the least it is a distraction and at the most it demonstrates the climate from which he came (and will undoubtedly take to the White House).
I wonder, at what point in his term will he surpass the number of scandals Clinton had? I also wonder if Axelrod feels stung by having to call himself a liar. If you are working for The One you had better get used to it because everyone else goes down before Obama.
Axelrod demonstrated that we can never trust his words again and he showed us that Obama is a liar who will cover his tracks at the expense of others.
As a challenge, someone find where anyone mentions that the governor is a DEMOCRAT…
As an aside, today is the day all the gays are calling out of work to protest the success of Proposition 8. They call it “A day without a gay.” To me that sounds great. We should have those everyday…
Sources:
Ben Smith’s Blog | ABC Political Punch | My Way News
Tags: axelrod, Blagojevich, chicago, corruption, illinois, liars, messiah, Obama, the one, under the bus
The Obamessiah
Sep 16, 2008 Political
I have written about this more than once. The left wonders why we refer to Obama as The One. They wonder why we mock him as some spiritual being. The halos around his head, his claim that he will make water recede, the claims he will heal the Earth, the claims that the clouds will open and there will be an epiphany, and the fact that Obama is Jesus is part of the Congressional Record might have something to do with it all.
The way his followers serve him in a cult like fashion leaves us to believe he is the messiah of the left. Obama (PBUH) has bought into all of this himself.
Yes, now you to can get faith merchandise from Barack Obama. This merchandise is designed to show friends and neighbors that you still have faith in The One. The nifty T-shirts will show the world that you are a follower of the Church of Barack. You must have faith, my children.
The One has spoken…
Source:
CNN
Obama stabs Hillary; minor racism OK as well
Aug 24, 2008 Political
Saturday was an interesting day starting with Obama’s pick for VP and ending up with Chris Matthews dismissing “racist”** remarks made by Biden in the past.
Obama was supposed to announce his VP pick Friday but two things changed that. Obama was caught up in the frenzy and delayed but now that I see how things transpired I am sure that Obama waited, at least in part, so that he could take one last dig at Hillary Clinton. The cat was out of the bag at a little after 1 am but Obama waited nearly two hours before he sent the much anticipated text messages and emails. Obama’s campaign sent them out at 3 am. When I heard that I knew immediately that he waited until that time to take a dig at Hillary and her “who do you trust when there is a call at 3 am” ad.
The Hillary supporters are already upset because she did not win and was treated badly. Then Obama did not even consider her for the VP slot. They said her name was in the running but she was never vetted. No one asked for her information because she was not going to get the nod no matter what. The 3 am announcement was the Obama camp’s way of saying that any message at 3 am will come from them. Hillary will not be involved. I hope the people who support her picked up on this and remember it.
The second part of the day involved Obama’s actual pick, who Obama introduced as the next PRESIDENT of the United States. Obama has stated he was an agent of change and that we could not afford to have politics as usual. He touted himself as a DC outsider. Then, instead of picking a running mate that is outside the beltway, he picks a man who has been in office for 36 years. Obama not only picked a man who, like The One, has little experience in the private sector, he picked a guy who is completely entrenched in the DC culture. This is not change and it shows that Obama was worried about the election. He sacrificed what he says he believes in in order to win. The selection of Biden, a man who admitted McCain was ready to be president and Obama is not, shows that Obama is running a bit scared. He also picked a guy who will not forget how many houses he has because they are all in a compound. Biden’s $1.3 million dollar house is only one of the homes in the Biden compound. I wonder if he is considered out of touch?
The last thing I saw (in between the football games) was Chris Matthews demonstrate how completely in the tank he is for Obama. Any person who was on his show that had a negative thing to say about the Biden selection was taken to task. If something negative was stated Matthews followed up with “…yeah but” or “well does that matter?” When one person mentioned Biden’s propensity for putting his foot in his mouth Matthews said (paraphrase) yeah but do the remarks matter? I mean, maybe it does not offend my religion but his comment was minimally racist and it only involved Indians. It was, you know, not like a really racist remark.
It is no secret that the Democratic Party has a long history of racism, slave holding, Jim Crow laws, lynching, and having a racist terror organization in the KKK to strike terror into the hearts of blacks. This past is well documented and undeniable. It is no secret that Democrats make racist comments all the time and they do so without the scrutiny that any Republican would get.
Chris Matthews wants you all to know that it is OK because there are degrees of racism and Biden is only minimally racist and his comments were directed at Indians so it really does not mater. I don’t seem to remember Matthews or anyone else excusing the word macaca when George Allen used it. No, the left went nuts and this was the worst thing in the world. No one on the left said it was a minor thing, and didn’t insult anyone important. Chris Matthews is completely in the tank for Obama and would have had tingles in his legs no matter who Obama selected. The choice of Biden, who has had differing opinions than Obama on many issues, gives us a great view of how the MSM will say or do anything to assure an Obama victory.
What an interesting day? We had the delayed announcement in order to diss Hillary, the Biden appearance and questions about his mouth and we had Matthews excuse racism.
The next couple of months will be fun. It will also be interesting to see if the left, those who say the differences between Biden and Obama do not matter, will pick apart McCain’s choice and try to exploit the differences.
I think Biden is a smart guy with regard to foreign affairs but he is an insider and a typical politician. He is part of the problem, not part of the solution that Obama claims to offer. Biden also has the potential to open his mouth and end the contest with a few poorly chosen words. With people like Matthews helping to excuse the gaffes he might have an easier go of it.
**Those who know me know that I do not think talking about a person’s nationality is racist. There are only a few races (despite the number on government forms) and while there are many things to call a person who makes offensive remarks, racist is not one when it does not involve a race. However, the left calls it that and Matthews called it that when he excused it.
Tags: biden, hillary disrespect, msm, Obama, racism, the one