A Peek into the Future For Xiden’s Speech
Jan 19, 2021 Political, Satire
I borrowed Doc Brown’s DeLorean and took a trip into the future to see what Xiden would say so you don’t have to listen (seriously, I would rather lick the pole in a strip join in the seedy part of town and doorknobs in Wuhan than listen to Xiden).
BEGIN TRANSCRIPT
I state your name, do hereby promise to you know, the thing.
Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. I am Joseph Robinette, hee hee, that sounds like a small bird I love birds, they fly, ever wish you could fly? Um, Biden and I am happy to become the 46th Chairman of the People’s Republik of America, oh, um the United States, wait for applause. After four years of Donald Trump and his low unemployment and booming economy I want to assure you that I intend to change all of that. We cannot have Americans holding jobs that rightfully belong to illegal immigrants who are heading here right now. Wait for applause.
I look out and see the vast empty space with no people there and it reminds me of the campaign where I could not draw flies. But me and Barack, he is one of the clean, articulate black guys, you know, we had the best most organized election fraud plan in place so I knew I would win. I mean, I am demented and most days sit around staring at my belly button, hee hee. Ever notice how paintings of Adam and Eve show them with belly buttons? They wouldn’t have had them if they were not born. I like the paintings of Eve, I imagine what smelling her hair would be like. Oh, Barack, he did OK listening to me. I gained a lot of experience handling those people when I told Corn Pop he better watch it or I would rub my hairy legs on him. I remember it because my dad took me to the pool where Corn Pop was and I saw two black men kissing and I asked him what that was about and he told me, Joey, they are in love.
Now I was a boy from Scranton, yo Scranton in the house, wait for applause, and I can tell you we didn’t see two black men kissing each other up there. We only had them tending our gardens and cleaning our cars. In fact, I didn’t see any white guys, or for that matter any guys kissing because when I was 15 it was 1957 and no matter how gay you were you didn’t show it. I only said that so you would think I was worthy of your vote. I mean, I picked a black chick, I mean, broad, I mean woman, is that OK Nancy, where’s Nancy Pelosi, stand up Nancy, God love ya what am I talking about it’s 1 pm Nancy is too drunk to stand. So I picked Kamala because she has the name of a big wrestler and liked watching him when I was in the Senate. I imagined body slamming Corn Pop that way but now I wouldn’t mind smashing her. She is into that. I told her she had pretty lips but she said too late, I already have the job.
So Trump messed up everything by beating Hillary. Hey Hill, too bad they didn’t cheat for you like this. But Joey B, the Big Guy, is here to mop up after Orange Man Bad. So we tried to kill that guy off. I mean have you ever seen such a resilient guy? We accused him of colluding with Russia and spent millions of YOUR dollars to investigate the thing we all knew was a lie just to get a report from that demented fool Mueller, we are in the same adult day care group, saying there was no collusion. I mean what did we pay him for? Then they impeached Trump and that didn’t work. No matter what this guy kept working for the people and making their lives better with tax cuts and more take home pay and a better quality of life. We Democrats could not stand for that! Wait for applause.
So I am here to tell you, look at all those soldiers. Man there are a lot of them. I have not seen that many at a swearing in since the last despot rigged an election and needed the military to protect him. Are these guys vetted? Do we know if they are loyal to the Chairman? Where is the Chairman, oh that’s me, what was I thinking? Can I mumble dogface to the banana patch? What dog faced pony soldier put that in there?
These soldiers, are they on the up and up? There are a lot of white ones there and that scares me. There are only a few soldiers of color or female ones. What am I saying, I mean there is not representation from the 50 different sexes we invented to demonstrate our mental illness. But those fellows have guns. Are they loaded? They look like assault weapons. You don’t need them. You soldiers listen, just get a shotgun and if there is a problem fire two blasts, that will scare them. Just give us a warning, after last week many Democrats from Congress are jumpy. They do not want to piss, I mean urinate in their pants again. They should wear Depends like me. The urine smell is not so bad once you get used to it. If you wear Ben Gay no one really notices the urine smell.
So I will be working to overturn all that Donald Trump did to make America great again, oh God, I mean to rile up his base. Good thing I got 80 million votes. Remember, nothing suspicious about that, wait for applause.
Look at all those fences around this place. It kind of feels like we are incarcerated. Funny how that looks appropriate.
So here is the thing, I have to start having little boys come in to the White House. The Pope will send me some. I like to touch them and have them sit on my lap. Then I tell them to pretend they are riding a horse.
Anyone who thinks I did not win is full of, I mean, come on man.
I am from Scranton and my first wife and little baby died and I lied about the guy who hit the car to gain politically. But no worries, I have been in office for 47 years and I did nothing but you can take my word, when I tell you something I mean it, I will change things now and erase the success of Trump.
One last thing. If you think I am donating my salary you are more demented than I am. God bless the Democrats, Mark Zuckerberg, Jack Dorsey, Premier Xi, the Dominion folks and the cheaters in all the battleground states. Without your illegal efforts I would not be here today.
And if you are wondering why I did not mention Covid it is because it has served its purpose. Now things will open and we will get back to normal. Thanks to the Wuhan Folks, my Wu Crew, for putting that together.
Now it is four hours past my lid time so that’s a wrap. Wait for applause.
END TRANSCRIPT
Well folks there you have it, my look into the future and a transcript of Chairman Xiden’s speech.
You have four years of this fool or the tool he has with him. Good luck with that…
#FAFO
ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ
Cave canem!
Never surrender, never submit.
The Banana Republic of America
Jan 16, 2021 Opinion, Political
I love the United States and would give my life defending her against all enemies, foreign and domestic. I took an oath to do that and the oath expires when I do. But my country is looking more and more like a banana republic than the shining light upon the hill.
We have upwards of 30,000 members of the US military in Washington DC to protect Chairman Xiden and the special people who will attend his anointing. The mayhem that took place at the Capitol on 6 January by paid instigators has given the totalitarians the opportunity to bring in all kinds of firepower to protect a man who is unaware of what is going on around him. Remember, Joe Xiden suffers from dementia. He is able to hide his own Easter Eggs. I heard a guy say each day Xiden wakes up he looks in the obituaries to see if he is still alive.
The point is Xiden was propped up as a guy who could bring the country together and heal divides. Folks, Xiden can’t even ties his own shoes. He is a puppet and Harris will be behind the scenes as the de facto president. Though right now it looks like she will be busy sitting in the Senate to break ties. As an aside, I doubt she will need to break many ties with people like Romney, Murkowski and Collins there will be few, if any ties. I would like to be wrong but they will roll over and give in. The Republicans have few people who will actually fight.
That is why the people like Donald J Trump. He fights and he is not afraid of a tussle. Democrats don’t like that because they want their Republicans well heeled. Do as they wish and they will let you keep getting rich off taxpayers. But they will shiv you in a New York City second. The minute they can take your seat they will boot you to the ground. Trump showed them what resistance was. Many Republicans in Congress could not handle it because they have been subservient for so long they could not understand they should fight. This is why a limp wristed noodle like Romney voted to convict in the first impeachment and why 10 Republican Congress critters voted for impeachment in the grudge impeachment last week. Most Republicans in Congress lack the rugged individualism that defined our Founders and they do not have the strength or courage to exert themselves for the benefit of constituents. Democrats are anti American and always put the country, its needs and its citizens LAST.
So here we are. Antifa and other paid agitators stormed the Capitol and the Democrats blamed Trump and his supporters and impeached the president in a measure straight out of a banana republic. No evidence, no hearing just here is the article, you are impeached wham bam thank you ma’am.
We continue with the banana republic as troops by the tens of thousands roll into DC for the anointing, an event people were told not to attend. It is possible we will have more armed military at the anointing than citizens attending. All Chairman Xiden needs to do is show up in his dictator uniform with the big panel shoulder boards and all the gold lettuce leaves around them with a huge saucer cap and he can tell us how the free and fair election (a common phrase among the left’s media propaganda wing) allowed a man who failed twice, dropping once due to plagiarism, became president. He can regale us with stories about how a man who spent nearly his entire campaign in the basement of his home and whose limited events had tens of people was able to win. He can tell us how a kid from Scranton who faced down Corn Pop while little kids felt the hair on his legs rose up to beat a man who had the most successful four year term in history.
Chairman Xiden can then say how he wants to unite us after four years of his party dividing us by attacking the duly elected president with a nonstop barrage of BS charges. He will say all the right things but the thinking people will know that the election was fraudulent, that the machines were rigged and that low level people at all the places it counted, cheated to make sure Trump did not win.
In this banana republic, like all others, they will tell you to believe their words instead of your lying eyes and that a putz from Scranton, a man who spent 47 years in government without accomplishing anything good, who is on the take from China, who can’t remember where he is or what he is doing or who his wife is and who touches children inappropriately had the most votes in history and even more than the first black guy to run and the first woman to run.
And many people will still believe it because in a banana republic you listen to dear leader or you disappear.
It is time for the citizenry to resist Xiden and his minions. It is time to make sure they pay for what they did. I declare the 20th of January Donald Trump Day (what day is it?). Take off work and let the left figure out how to run things. Resist all things Democrats dictate from mask and vaccine mandates to illegal immigration.
Resist and let them decide if it is worth the fight.
[If you are a subscriber reply to the email so I know you got it!]
#FAFO
ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ
Cave canem!
Never surrender, never submit.
Wrap Up For 14 January 2021
Jan 14, 2021 Opinion, Political
Representative Dan Crenshaw was a shining star in GOP circles and among those who follow politics. He is a veteran who seemed to have conservative principles. There was talk among the people that they might want him to run for president. I do not think that would be a good idea. He was photographed with the moms demand action group of gun control ladies and he supported red flag laws. Imagine if someone said he was a veteran who might have PTSD so he should have his guns taken away. This week as Democrats were having a grudge impeachment Liz Cheney, a despicable spawn of a war mongering father, voted to impeach the President. Crenshaw said she showed courage and he supports her though many Republicans are calling for her to step down from her leadership position. Seems to me she is posturing for the future. Crenshaw supports her and says she has courage. Courage is going against the mob to do the right thing. Impeachment was not the right thing. Dan likes to have battles with people on social media. I was banned from Twitter Dan but we can debate any time you want. I doubt it would do you any good. You have that disease that seems to affect people who get elected. They forget what got them there and their core values disappear.
Lil Kim in North Korea is rattling sabers again as he threatens to take out America. He says the US is oppressive and needs to be shown who is the boss, and all that. For four years that little criminal didn’t say much because he knew that Donald J Trump would drop a bomb on his head. He was afraid of Trump and tried to at least look like he was making nice. But a Xiden Chairmanship is allegedly on the horizon and Lil Kim is not afraid of Xiden. China controls Xiden and his family and China is North Korea’s best trading partner. People might think that we are better off but when a runt like Kim changes his tune from fear to outright confrontation it is obvious our “leader” is not respected or feared.
Louie Gohmert of Texas had his chance to speak at the grudge impeachment yesterday and he took issue with the articles which claim Donald Trump incited insurrection by challenging the election and claiming it was rigged and stolen. Gohmert then read some quotes from Nancy Pelosi from a few years ago. He said they were words that could incite violence but no one impeached her because they did nto take her to be inciting violence. He basically pointed out the hypocrisy of the left. To make things more hilarious, the Marxist Media listened to Gohmert, did not know he was quoting Pelosi and became apoplectic. They all could not believe he was calling for violence. Even the MSM thought the words were a call to violence. When they realized he was quoting Pelosi they deleted their Tweets and acted like it never happened. You will never hear them call her out. Pelosi also questioned the validity of the 2016 election and said there was no question it was illegitimate and that Congress had a duty to investigate. There were plenty of riots when Trump was inaugurated. Can we impeach Pelosi for inciting riots by claiming an election was dirty?
A Texas lawmaker wants the topic of secession put on the ballot. He is interested in the possibility of the state of Texas leaving the union and becoming its own country. The last time states tried that the federal government attacked them and a lot of people died. I know that the courts have ruled the Union is an unbreakable bond but I disagree. The states entered willingly and they have a right to leave if they want. Xiden is not strong enough to fight Texas and many Democrats might be happy to see it go because its dozens of electoral votes that go to Republicans would disappear. Of course if Texas left that would set a precedent and you can be sure other states would follow suit. Imagine if the conservative states formed a union. We grow the food and have plenty of manufacturing. It would be great to rid ourselves of the tyrannical government in DC. I might consider moving to Texas if it became a free nation. Hell, I would be happy moving to any in a union of free states that followed the Constitution. Face it folks, we had a good run but sometimes breaking up is the best option.
Back to Liz Cheney. She is the third most powerful Republican in the House but she needs to go. Her leadership position needs to be stripped from her and she needs to be benched. She is toxic to the party and to conservatism. She is a war hawk like her father (it is easy to send people to war when you have never had to serve yourself). I imagine if she got disgraced enough she might switch parties but as far as I am concerned once she voted to impeach President Trump she already switched. She is a vile worthless waste of flesh and an oxygen thief. If Crenshaw does not like that assessment he can suck wind.
Well folks, that wraps up another day. Washington DC has fencing all around with guards all over to keep people from causing trouble. It is almost as if Democrats are admitting that walls work…
Say a prayer for the troops. Pray they follow their oath. Against all enemies foreign and domestic. The domestic enemies have the title Congressman (or woman) and Senator…
#FAFO
ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ
Cave canem!
Never surrender, never submit.
Tags: cheney, Crenshaw, criminals, domestic enemies, Gohmert, impeachment, lies, Pelosi, Xiden